Who Are You Now?

Who are you now?

Nervous thoughts picking behind green eyes.

Sleep a distant friend, long lost but not forgotten.

Lying on your side, his arms wrapped around you.

His skin feels cold almost alien now.

What have you done?

Decisions made in haste and anger.

Bile sits in the back of your throat, hot and burning.

Blinking into the darkness you can see your soul.

Here with him yet still alone in your sadness.

Pulling the bed sheets close, biting your lower lip.

The iron taste brings little relief and you retreat.

What have you become?

Dew kissing bare feet

Pale skin glowing in the waning moon light.

Crisp air filling your lungs, tickling skin.

Thoughts stirring emotion, drawing out tears for no one to see.

Arms crossed, head low, gliding through the dying night.

Who will you be?

When virgin sunshine brushes your hair.

When the day’s chores roll on.

The light casts away fears and doubts.

Everything else is forgotten.

Once the sun retreats, and the moon rules.

Who are you now?

I am

The unexpected wisp of cold sends a shiver between your shoulder blades.

I am the creek you hear when you are all alone.

I am the slightest breeze that moves the shade at night.

I am the unfound knock in the wall that moves without pattern.

I am the whisper you hear just before waking.

Hot breath on the back of your neck.

Toothbrush misplaced.

Lost keys, under the chair.

I am the pins of light shining in during the smallest hours.

The feeling of being watched when you think you are alone.

The unexpected ringing phone, with no one there

I am always there.

Tell me again how you are not afraid of me…..

Afloat

Sound echoes in time long lost

Whispers coming from corners shrouded in darkness, taunting

 

Errant wisp of hair forgotten, floating

Sticking to clothes, fingers and toes, unwanted yet cherished just the same

 

How long must we dance alone

Entwined in memories

Bittersweet with laughter and smiles

 

In the end I am but alone in this green field of sorrow

Hands teasing tips of grain folding beneath each touch

Eyes open defying the breaking dawn seeing nothing

 

Vast fields surround me, empty of direction and worth

Swift cold wind blankets my every thought

Leaving me feeling alone and lost

 

Tomorrow is a dream

Today a goose step march

Yesterday a forgotten hiccup

 

And maybe, just maybe, tomorrow the sun will shine renewed

I will be set free to see the sea on the horizon

And you will be there

Afloat waving to me

There He Stood

There he stood, silently in the corner.

Late afternoon sunlight cutting streams in the dust.

Silently he stood there watching as family, friends moved likes ants attending a picnic.

They moved moving furniture, clothes and dishes to the box truck parked in the driveway.

Chatting among themselves, joking and laughing.

Discarding old shoes and children’s games as they went.

There he stood silently in the corner of the house he built.

His home, once upon a time anyway.

He could still smell the pine of Christmas trees long since gone.

He could hear the cries of a newborn baby echoing in the hall.

He could still see children playing in the living room, sometimes fighting in the yard.

He remembered the time his daughter walked down on her own on her third birthday.

There she was again coming down for her prom.

“Time to go dad.” Came with a pat on the shoulder.

“You’ll be happy there, really.  More people your own age to relate to.”

Head held high he followed, like the shadow he now was.

A final click of the lock, handing over the keys.

There he stood in the corner.

Fluorescent lights cast a crisp cold glow on the remnants of his past.

Rise

Floating in a sea of uncertainty
Cold waves slap my face, disorienting in the darkness of what is to be
Treading water, grasping breath
My limbs grow numb in the blanket of cold indifference
The light I see is my own
Distant glow, faint in the distance cutting through the mist of today
What I once was I will be again, only better
A phoenix rises from the cold unforgiving sea
Eyes burning, colorful wings cast stark contrast in the dark defying doubts
With each powerful thrust, vibrant wings send waves of hope
Cutting the dark uncertainty, rising above what was
Light breaks, blinding
And the phoenix is but a shadow in the brilliance of the new day

Rainbows

Leaning back on tired elbows looking at the rainbows colored with memories past.
Leaving me immune to the clouds forming,

framing, and shading our vision of the present.
With tired eyes I stare out, absorbing the flavor in the sky.

Reveling in their simple joy and innocence.
Unaware of what the rainbow is.
The veil of colors is but a ruse, a shield, and a mask. Hiding what is to come.
For the rainbow eases the way of the storm making us giddy with joy so when the rain falls we don’t feel it until we are wet.
A now standing, dripping with cold remorse I stare into the sun, looking for tomorrow’s rainbow to save me.
Icy shards pierce my skin in an endless onslaught formed in doubt and wonder.
And still I stand still, a sentinel of all that is and once was.

Waiting, wondering lost within the confusion that I am.
Tomorrow the clouds will break and sun will shine. Warming my bones bringing back life untold.
Another rainbow forms in the distance.
I sit back on my elbows looking at the colors tainted with memories of the past.

What???

I want to write, I am at loss for words.
I want to take pics, I feel unable to move.
I want to sleep, I am afraid to close my eyes.

Unknown, unwanted feelings of confusion, despair, all unwarranted.
I need my muse, any muse to come and save me from this falling.
Too many stories left untold.
Too many tales left in limbo, characters sitting qiuetly by the fire
waiting for me to give them a direction a purpose a life.

I am falling……

Good Night

Silver shards of moonlight cut through sleepy branches casting drops of light on forgotten soil.
A gentle breeze brings remnants of pine, whispering softly to anyone left awake to listen.
The last cricket sings its sad melody, reaching out refusing to accept it’s own fate.
Once naked grass now glinting frosted dew as the pale moon looks on without a care.
These are the lost hours, time long forgot.
The deep of the night when men are left dancing with their dreams and spiders spin webs watching us sleep.
Dream catchers fall, nightmares rise and the moon looks on without a care.
Sleep deep my precious; hold yourself warm against the night for tomorrow may never come.
Dream loud my lost angel; may your wings take flight leave yesterdays far far behind.
The last cricket sings, echoes in the night while the spider smiles down on us while we sleep.

Drowning

Emotions, pressing in from all sides.

Blanket my very being.

Kicking and clawing up toward the light.

Some salvation, hope undaunted.

Icy velvet drapes wrapping my limbs

Hindering movement

Each breath stunted

My vision blurred and broken

Distorted through waves of struggle

I am drowning

Pool of tears and faith lost

Nothing more than a forgotten shadow

Memories evolve into nightmares

Stepping to the edge looking down

Witness my struggle

And yet no hand stretched

Just a hint of a smile

And your tears fall to add to the pool of my drowning

Three AM

In those strange hours

Between waking and sleep

When even the night creatures rest

Your soul still dances with me

Alone, Trapped in the recess

Teetering on madness’ edge

Draped in darkness all alone waiting

Wishing the beggars end

Mind drifting to those secret places

The you, no one else can know

Cursing common day doings

Dancing with whores for the show

Release yourself

Take in the drink

Sit back and be free

Run the razor edge along your finger

Dance again with me  😉